Does Blogging make you Fat?

I feel a little like I sit down and blog more than I am active around the house.

I have noticed the sitting love handles getting a little bit bigger..?.

Hmmmm could it be the blogging?

The other day I did blow off exercise to check my blog.

Anybody else feel like this?

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Confidence

I am repeating myself but Marcus Messiah Garvey (whom is a freedom fighter, the smartest person I have ever heard of and was fat) said: marcus_garvey_mdm

“If you haven’t confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started. ”

I can recall a time in my life around the age of 13 we were doing a debate about electrical power usage and its effect on the environment.  The teacher put me on the side of the environment and as I researched I experienced an epiphany.  I can’t remember the exact numbers I had worked out but I discovered that if every women in our town gave up using their curling iron we would see a dramatic change in electrical usage.  My teacher said the point was invalid because the goal was impossible.  I vowed that day never to use my curling iron again to prove that it could be done.  I realize now that that event started my journey into opposing vanity.  I gave up make-up and hair styling and magazine looking.

I had never been the pretty girl or the girl the boys looked at.  I can honestly say my husband was the first man to tell me I was beautiful (of course my dad also but he isn’t a boy he is my dad).  We met when I was in my late 20s.  Now I look back and realize it wasn’t that men didn’t find me attractive it was that I didn’t find myself attractive.  I blamed my weight.  I blamed all my problems on my weight it became a great excuse.

Also I never liked getting my photo taken and would often delete them from mine and other peoples cameras because I didn’t like the way I looked.  It is a joke I played on my mom that I would hide all the framed pictures she had of me.  I secretly went into my husbands photo albums and removed all of the pictures of myself.  I avoided looking at myself and would openly say I didn’t care and that no one else should either.

Years ago after 3 kids I was visiting my dad and I think that he was in a mood.  He asked why I was taking so long to fix my teeth (which I broke off at 10 falling off my bike) he said:

“You know just because you are married doesn’t mean you can be ugly

Don’t be upset with my dad because he was right.  I think about his advise everyday.  I rejected vanity by being lazy about my appearance.  I was lazy about my appearance because I didn’t have the confidence to be pretty.

Last year I hit bottom really hard.  I often found myself unable to leave the house because I couldn’t stop crying.  Now I realize that I had robbed myself of my identity, my relationships with people (including my husband), my sex drive (sorry to be graphic) and my desire for life.  There were times I would get in the car and just want to drive and never stop.  I found myself googling:

how to get more confidence”

One blog that I read said don’t be lazy about your appearance.  If you need to put on some make-up to make you feel better put some make-up on, if you need to lose weight do it lose the weight, dress nice, brush your hair everyday, and look in the mirror every time you can

I never looked in the mirror!

I hated what I saw and I would say that only vain people looked in the mirror.  I remember vowing to never look unless I had to.  Try brushing your teeth without looking in the mirror.  This lead to many incidents of wearing clothes with stains, baby spit-up, food drippings, etc and never knowing until my husband would say “Are you wearing that?  It isn’t clean.”  or on one trip to the big city a stranger asked what corner I squeegeed on.  I WAS apathetic and lazy about how I looked because I didn’t think I should care or want to care.

The advise in those blogs also mentioned look at what you love about yourself.  All I saw was fat.  I had to work so hard to pick myself up and feel better.   I forced myself to look in the mirror everyday.  I wanted to feel better.  Thanks to the patience, good advise and love of my friends I was able to focus on weight loss instead of hiding from it.  I started looking in the mirror with honest eyes and was surprised that I didn’t look as horrible as I thought.  The exercising and diet were working and my body was getting smaller.  I was accomplishing my goals and growing stronger for it.  I often question whether I am a happier person now because of a little make-up and weight loss or whether I get more oxygen to the brain or was it taking time and pride in myself?

It is an ongoing battle I still don’t feel “Trophy Wife” confident but at least I know that it is not my weight that is holding me back but instead a state of mind.  If I can overcome my weight than I can over come this too!

I can win this race before I begin.

With love,

The “Plateaued” Housewife

My Approach

The history of the “Plateaued” Housewife

It was hard for me to find a before photo becauseI used delete photos of myself

It was hard for me to find a before photo because I used delete photos of myself

A couple of long time girlfriends came back in to my life for a short time last year.

We were out for lunch talking about one of my usual conversation topics

weight loss

Over pizza and a salad I complained

“I have tried so many times to exercise and it never seems to work and I diet but it never seems to work”

I will never forget my previously robust teenage friend looking at me with her “stop complaining” eyes and replying

“You have to do both diet and exercise together.  It is the only way to lose weight”

What she said changed my attitude forever but not my motivation.  I was tired of my excuses too but everything in life had to come easy for me or I wasn’t interested in pursuing it.  I didn’t want to try.  I didn’t want to have hardship (like sore muscles and boring aerobic exercise) and so like always I didn’t follow through.

Shortly after this I was visiting the family doctor and while waiting in her office I noticed the BMI chart.  I knew I was overweight but not OVERWEIGHT.  I discovered I was almost in the obese category.  I was shocked.  The chart also noted that at my BMI  the chances of getting an “obese related disease” was likely and the chance of dying of an obese related disease was high.  My thoughts immediately turned to my ancestors who died of heart disease and my father who had just been diagnosed with Pre-Diabetes.  Days that followed I began to notice that my body was not functioning well with the 20 years of inactivity and poor eating habits.  I was having trouble sleeping feeling like the flab on my neck was closing my windpipe and the heaviness of my chest made breathing difficult.  However I still didn’t follow through.

Last winter I was on vacation at my parents snow bird home in Arizona and while swimming under the water and holding my breath I felt a great pressure in my chest that worried me.  My heart was hurting really hurting.  I was scared when I admitted to myself that I had been suffering these pains for a least a year and ignoring it.  I sat in the pool saying to myself is there nothing that can motivate me?  My health didn’t seem to motivate me, living for my children didn’t motivate me, wanting to look good for my hubby didn’t motivate me…what was going to motivate me???

An email from a friend.

She was offering support and her email said “want to start “Insanity” when you get back?  I bought it today and I need you to help me stick with it.”  I emailed her back that I was in and that I wouldn’t let her down.  I returned home and we made a plan – meet at her house after dropping the kids at school, weigh in and exercise for 30 minutes.

I weighed 194lbs or 196lbs I forget.  I will never forget day 1.  It was hard and I wanted to stop.  It hurt my muscles and my knees.  My friend whom I will call the “desperate to lose weight” housewife was shocked at how slow I was going and told me that I needed to reach a certain number of repetitions before the 30 minutes was up.  I did it.  I had to.  I needed to be accountable for my friend as well as myself.  The weight started to come off quickly and I was hooked.

I had found motivation in helping someone else be motivated.

Days passed, months passed, favorite videos were played, the elliptical became more of an exercise machine than a towel rack and then “desperate” housewife said something that has become my mantra every time I weigh myself:

“I never want to see that number again”.

First time I saw this photo I was surprised how thin I looked

She probably doesn’t remember saying it nor does she know the impact of what she said .  I never want to see those numbers again and I never want to go through this struggle again.  This was the hardest thing to dedicate to and I was using every bit of my will power to achieve the most important gift I could give myself.  I never wanted to go back to being OVERWEIGHT ever again!

I truly believe that being overweight robbed me of my confidence.  As the great Marcus Messiah Garvey said

“If you haven’t confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started. ”

I realize that working on looking good makes you feel better about yourself.  Now I know that it is okay to be pretty.  Everyone already loves me for what is inside it is my turn to be loved for what is outside.  I do not want to be lazy about my appearance and I don’t want to hide anymore.

This is a brief summary of the psychology I used to get this far:

Sacrament/Sacrifice – My spiritual belief teaches that I should cover my hair but for many years it was the only attractive attribute I had.  My sacrament was to give up wearing my hair open in public and in return I would reach my weight loss goals.   This technique works, whether you believe that the Creator granted my wish and accepted my payment (which is what I choose to believe) or whether you believe that it is just the psychology of having a constant reminder of your goals.  I have overcome eating sugar and salt with this approach wanting to be granted all of my greatest desires.

Exercise – sweat everyday don’t let a day go by that you don’t exercise for at least 30 minutes.  I am a mother of 4 children ranging in age 2 – 8years old.  If I can make time than everyone can make time.

Water – I now don’t allow myself any other liquid until I have drank all of the water that needs to be drank in a day.  Remember water has no calories and only drinking water prevents drinking sugary things or teas and coffees with additives like cream and caffeine (however when I started out on this quest I replaced snacking with coffee drinking (black coffee that is) and it really helped!  But I still made sure to drink my water.)

Changing my relationship with food –  I wanted to enjoy fresh food for its natural taste no dip, no sauce, no cooking just raw.  I call this the ITAL approach.  Eat fresh just like the Creator cooked it.  Change your mind about what tastes good and focus on what ITAL natural raw food can do for your body

 Diet – I had done some research on canola oil and found disturbing information.  Canola oil was genetically modified from Rape Seed (which can not be ingested by humans).  Canola oil was found to give people headaches, I suffered from migraines that were strange and scary (loss of vision and numbness up my arms into my throat) and life stopping.  Can’t really drive my kids when I have tunnel vision.  I wanted to be rid of them so I vowed that I wouldn’t eat canola oil.  Well you would be surprised how many things have canola oil (Montreal Steak Spice – REALLY?  Peanut Butter – REALLY?  Broth – REALLY?  Certain fried nuts – REALLY)  It seemed canola oil was the oil of choice.  I switched to grapeseed but when I returned from my vacation in Arizona I gave up eating any processed oils.  Especially the fatty oils in cheese.  No it doesn’t have canola oil and I know it is hard to give up cheese but I will tell everyone that cheese is not a weight loss food and no one can convince me that it is healthy.  Eventually I gave up sugar and now have given up eating salt as well.  I eat mostly raw food, boiled food and nuts.  I am never hungry.  This diet isn’t for everyone but remember you must change your relationship with food.

I would rather look good than eat good!

Posture This is an emotional subject for me.  I am not ready to get into great detail here but have discovered that poor posture can create chaos in ones life.  There is a posture and shape of body that is ideal for good health.  I know I will write more on this later.  Basically sitting up straight helps your pelvic health, it burns more calories than slouching and makes you look thinner.

Going to bed early and waking up early – You can see from my self portraits that some were taken at 6am or earlier.  Getting up early helps you have enough time in the day to exercise.  Going to bed early prevents eating late at night and gives you more energy to exercise.

This is my approach…what is yours?

Let us know.

We’re interested in hearing from you!